Today is #BellLetsTalk day, so I’ll explain how the first time I took myself solo dating totally changed my well being.
“Table for one, please.”
After surviving a particularly awful breakup, I was looking for moments to feel happy again. So I chose one of my favourite restaurants – a Greek spot called Spiro’s in Lloydminster, Saskatchewan. I put on a fancy dress, did up my hair and makeup, and went out for the evening to dine alone.
Solo dating is ≠ to doing something alone
This solo dinner wasn’t the first time I had done something on my own. For example, I drove a moving truck over seven hundred of kilometers for a job opportunity at 18 years old. But taking myself on a date was different. It took place long before ‘solo dating’ and ‘self-partnered’ became buzzwords. At the time, a solo date wasn’t your run-of-the-mill singles activity.
When I arrived at the restaurant, I sat in my car contemplating the choice to walk through the front doors. Somehow I made it through the doors and I felt anxious waiting for my table. I immersed myself in the menu. Then, I went about my night quietly enjoying the delicious meal – a plate of Spiro’s famous Greek ribs. My anxiety decreased and I relaxed while observing other diners chatting with their friends and family.
I don’t remember having a smartphone to drown out my own thoughts or to fill the silence that was coming from the other side of the table. I can’t remember what else I’d planned for myself that evening after dinner, either. But I remember the moment I decided to take myself on a date very clearly. It was an internal transformation. I decided to stop waiting for people to show up for me and started showing up for myself. The self-esteem boost transferred into other areas of my life.
Later that same year, I took a solo trip outside of Canada with a group travel company. It was the first of many annual single travel adventures.
I find it much easier to meet new people when I’m alone. There’s a connectivity that develops when you meet other people who are also riding solo. When I’m with someone, establishing a connection to others isn’t always easy.
Learn to master your relationship with yourself
Solo dating helped me set new expectations for future suitors and gave me the confidence to love myself first. Learning how to master a healthy relationship with me trickled through to other relationships.
The capacity to love my alone time has affected my mental health throughout my life. It’s become a sacred part of who I am. Now, I’m more likely to choose things I want to do rather than waiting for someone else who may or may not join me. As an extrovert, being alone gives me an opportunity to interact with others which is key to filling up my energy.
Treating yourself to solo dating is a positive experience, not a lonesome one. Even if you have a spouse, spending time out of the house alone could change your well being, too.
Solo dating ideas in Saskatoon
So where are you going to go on your date for one in Saskatoon? Here are a few ideas:
- Reserve a table at one of Saskatoon’s many fine restaurants
- Take photos along the Meewasin Trail with a fresh perspective
- Give yourself time to digest a new book at McNally Robinson Booksellers
- Check out live theatre, concert, a festival, or a movie
- Sign up for a DIY workshop
- Book a night in a luxurious Saskatoon hotel room
Do you have other ideas for solo dating in Saskatoon?
Please support #BellLetsTalk day to end the stigma surrounding mental health.